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Feb. 12th, 2006 04:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavendersparkI have made some progress in cleaning my apartment. I emptied three boxes today. My dining room looks pretty empty now. In going thru the things in the boxes I came across some old poems and my story that I haven't finished yet (one of two that I have yet to finish... three if you count the one I haven't even started yet...). I came across one poem that I feel speaks to me even now. I wrote it a couple years ago. If you're interested you can read it.
All these faces - these eyes - looking at me, looking thru me.
Seeing me, but not seeing the truth, not seeing the girl inside.
Only believing what they want to believe, not listening to my words only hearing the sounds.
Reading the lines on the page and not feeling the spaces.
Never knowing who I am and what I stand for.
Never really caring about the reality of me.
Always assuming the worst, assuming what society tells them to assume.
Never looking beneath the surface; into the darkness below at the girl in the shadows.
The girl that screams into the still silence around her - just to see if anyone answers.
Screaming herself hoarse; until her throat is bleeding with the effort and she can no longer scream.
All she wants is for someone to listen, someone to understand, someone to SEE. . .
She is not what they say, she is herself, she is free - yet some things are true, some things are real.
These things make her who she is, they help her understand the universe and understand heself.
There is a path of broken things behind her and a path of unknowing in front of her.
Fate has thrown many turns and obstacles in her path and she has survived them all - one way or another - and come out alive.
Yet there is more path ahead, more things for Fate to throw and for her to overcome.
I am her guide on this path, helping her to find what it is that she is seeking.
Happiness, simple happiness is all she wants; and all she has ever wanted.
So society: say what you will about the skin of me, the girl inside doesn't mind; she can't hear you.
Other than that I haven't done anything all weekend.
All these faces - these eyes - looking at me, looking thru me.
Seeing me, but not seeing the truth, not seeing the girl inside.
Only believing what they want to believe, not listening to my words only hearing the sounds.
Reading the lines on the page and not feeling the spaces.
Never knowing who I am and what I stand for.
Never really caring about the reality of me.
Always assuming the worst, assuming what society tells them to assume.
Never looking beneath the surface; into the darkness below at the girl in the shadows.
The girl that screams into the still silence around her - just to see if anyone answers.
Screaming herself hoarse; until her throat is bleeding with the effort and she can no longer scream.
All she wants is for someone to listen, someone to understand, someone to SEE. . .
She is not what they say, she is herself, she is free - yet some things are true, some things are real.
These things make her who she is, they help her understand the universe and understand heself.
There is a path of broken things behind her and a path of unknowing in front of her.
Fate has thrown many turns and obstacles in her path and she has survived them all - one way or another - and come out alive.
Yet there is more path ahead, more things for Fate to throw and for her to overcome.
I am her guide on this path, helping her to find what it is that she is seeking.
Happiness, simple happiness is all she wants; and all she has ever wanted.
So society: say what you will about the skin of me, the girl inside doesn't mind; she can't hear you.
Other than that I haven't done anything all weekend.
