(no subject)

Found out last night that a friend from HS passed away on Tuesday.

I haven't seen/spoken to him in over a decade, but it's hitting me kind of hard.

I think a lot of it is that I had just discovered his FB page last week and saw that he only lives a couple hours away. I almost sent him a friend request, then didn't. Partly because I feel that no one really remembers me, but also because I really have nothing to offer. I'm stuck home and I hate always asking people to come to me. It seems unfair.

But then there's guilt too. So far there no word on HOW he died. I just have this sinking feeling that he committed suicide. When I found his page there was a post from May about being really depressed, but then a few days later he posted that he was doing better. Everything after that was just random shares of different memes/images.

I just keep wondering if it would've made a difference if I had reached out. I don't know. There's no way to know. And I don't even know what happened. I've searched for an obituary and news reports from where he was living, but haven't found anything.

Still just pretty much in shock I guess.