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Apr. 13th, 2007 01:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavendersparkok normally no one cares enough about my ramblings to comment on them (namely because they are just ramblings and don't really need commenting...) but this time i'm asking for comments. i need some input here. and i'm not going to get angry at anyone for giving me their opinion, i'm asking for the opinion!
so andy just found out yesterday that the whole 15 month tour is going to apply to his deployment to afghanistan. we knew that he was going, he was going to be leaving in dec/jan and staying over there for 6-8 months. however with this new bill that passed, he is now leaving in nov/dec and will be there for 15 months.
when we thought he was only going to be gone for 6-8 months i was going to stay here in mi b/c it wouldn't really be worth it for me to move there (nc) and then move back. but with this change, i'm really thinking about moving to nc to be with him as much as possible before he leaves. we already know that just because he gets long weekends once a month doesn't mean he can always come home. since he's been in nc he hasn't made it home once.
i'm also thinking it would just be better there in general. the economy here sucks. there aren't that many job oportunities here for him. i hate my job and there aren't that many other places to go that would be different. i'm sick of the cold weather and getting sick from it. and while it does get cold there it doesn't snow nearly as bad.
and while i would miss all of you, there really isn't much holding me here. i don't really see my family much and i spend most of my time alone. i'm not blaming anyone for this, i know i can easily pick up the phone and find someone to spend time with. but i'm not exactly the first person anyone thinks of when they want to hang out with someone either.
i feel like i'm stuck here, like i have no way to have a better life that what i currently have. and while i'm really not bad off, i would like to be able to have a better life later on. like when i have kids and everything. right now it looks like this is the best i can do. i'm frustrated with my life and i need a change.
i know this is drastic and may seem a bit unlike me, but i really think the move would be good for me. i know it will be hard once andy leaves, but i'd like to think i'll be able to make friends before he goes. i'll have a job and that invovles people so that would be a start. and if i get down there soon enough i can spend time with him and his friends and meet people that way. and there is a support group for soldiers' families and wives i could go to if i felt i needed to.
my main concern right now is how my cats will handle it. i'm going to make an appointment with my vet to have them checked out and talk with her about seditives for the drive down. i could fly and it would be quicker for them, but i don't like the idea of them being in some cargo area alone. i'd rather have them in the car with me so i can keep an eye on them. it's a 12 hour drive if you go straight thru. so i'm really not sure how that would go.
i would like to be down there by june/july since he leaves in nov. i know that's really soon and i've got a lot to do before then. not to mention come up with the money to cancel the lease i just signed in march...however since i don't have a copy of said lease, i have no idea how much that is. i don't think it's going to be pretty tho. then there's the deposit and app fees for the new apartment...lots of money i don't have. so if i turn down things that cost money, i'm sorry. andy said he will help with my lease cancellation since i'm moving to be with him, but i'm not sure i'm ok with that. i guess it will depend on how much it is and if i really need the help.
once i get there i'll need a job. i'm going to look online and see what i can find, but without a definite move date i can't fill out apps or anything. so i'll probably need a little money to live on for a bit. hopefully i can find something quickly. the good thing about living near an army base is that there are all kinds of places to work. it's just a matter of whether or not they need employees. i need to figure out how much money i need to be making also. i won't need to be making what i make now, but if i can i'm not going to turn it down. :)
i looked at apartments this morning and found several that look nice and are decently priced. a couple even have fireplaces :) i sent them to andy for his opinion. he knows of some as well that friends of his live in. hopefully we can find something nice. we don't have real high standards. i just need a place that will take cats and we both want a washer & dryer in the apartment. i'd also like a storage unit whether it's in the building/apt or just in the complex i don't care. i've been looking for 2 bedrooms under $700 since i have no real idea what our budget is. i'm paying close to $600 for my current place on my own so i just went a little above that. most of the layouts are really nice and roomy. much bigger than my place for the most part. most of them had two bathrooms. which kinda sucks, i hate cleaning one bathroom, but oh well.
ok, i think that sums everything up. please let me know any thoughts/adivce/comments you have. this is a huge decision and outside opinions are always helpful.
so andy just found out yesterday that the whole 15 month tour is going to apply to his deployment to afghanistan. we knew that he was going, he was going to be leaving in dec/jan and staying over there for 6-8 months. however with this new bill that passed, he is now leaving in nov/dec and will be there for 15 months.
when we thought he was only going to be gone for 6-8 months i was going to stay here in mi b/c it wouldn't really be worth it for me to move there (nc) and then move back. but with this change, i'm really thinking about moving to nc to be with him as much as possible before he leaves. we already know that just because he gets long weekends once a month doesn't mean he can always come home. since he's been in nc he hasn't made it home once.
i'm also thinking it would just be better there in general. the economy here sucks. there aren't that many job oportunities here for him. i hate my job and there aren't that many other places to go that would be different. i'm sick of the cold weather and getting sick from it. and while it does get cold there it doesn't snow nearly as bad.
and while i would miss all of you, there really isn't much holding me here. i don't really see my family much and i spend most of my time alone. i'm not blaming anyone for this, i know i can easily pick up the phone and find someone to spend time with. but i'm not exactly the first person anyone thinks of when they want to hang out with someone either.
i feel like i'm stuck here, like i have no way to have a better life that what i currently have. and while i'm really not bad off, i would like to be able to have a better life later on. like when i have kids and everything. right now it looks like this is the best i can do. i'm frustrated with my life and i need a change.
i know this is drastic and may seem a bit unlike me, but i really think the move would be good for me. i know it will be hard once andy leaves, but i'd like to think i'll be able to make friends before he goes. i'll have a job and that invovles people so that would be a start. and if i get down there soon enough i can spend time with him and his friends and meet people that way. and there is a support group for soldiers' families and wives i could go to if i felt i needed to.
my main concern right now is how my cats will handle it. i'm going to make an appointment with my vet to have them checked out and talk with her about seditives for the drive down. i could fly and it would be quicker for them, but i don't like the idea of them being in some cargo area alone. i'd rather have them in the car with me so i can keep an eye on them. it's a 12 hour drive if you go straight thru. so i'm really not sure how that would go.
i would like to be down there by june/july since he leaves in nov. i know that's really soon and i've got a lot to do before then. not to mention come up with the money to cancel the lease i just signed in march...however since i don't have a copy of said lease, i have no idea how much that is. i don't think it's going to be pretty tho. then there's the deposit and app fees for the new apartment...lots of money i don't have. so if i turn down things that cost money, i'm sorry. andy said he will help with my lease cancellation since i'm moving to be with him, but i'm not sure i'm ok with that. i guess it will depend on how much it is and if i really need the help.
once i get there i'll need a job. i'm going to look online and see what i can find, but without a definite move date i can't fill out apps or anything. so i'll probably need a little money to live on for a bit. hopefully i can find something quickly. the good thing about living near an army base is that there are all kinds of places to work. it's just a matter of whether or not they need employees. i need to figure out how much money i need to be making also. i won't need to be making what i make now, but if i can i'm not going to turn it down. :)
i looked at apartments this morning and found several that look nice and are decently priced. a couple even have fireplaces :) i sent them to andy for his opinion. he knows of some as well that friends of his live in. hopefully we can find something nice. we don't have real high standards. i just need a place that will take cats and we both want a washer & dryer in the apartment. i'd also like a storage unit whether it's in the building/apt or just in the complex i don't care. i've been looking for 2 bedrooms under $700 since i have no real idea what our budget is. i'm paying close to $600 for my current place on my own so i just went a little above that. most of the layouts are really nice and roomy. much bigger than my place for the most part. most of them had two bathrooms. which kinda sucks, i hate cleaning one bathroom, but oh well.
ok, i think that sums everything up. please let me know any thoughts/adivce/comments you have. this is a huge decision and outside opinions are always helpful.
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no subject
on 2007-04-13 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-04-14 09:26 am (UTC)no subject
on 2007-04-14 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
on 2007-04-14 07:34 pm (UTC)This is coming from a girl who met a guy in June, 3 months later engaged and is now getting married in 10 days to said guy. I did what I felt was right, and went with my gut instinct. Honestly Andrea, womens instincts are there for a reason. Moving to some unknown area and getting settled while trying to be social with your Bf Andy is quite a tall order. The Army doesn't recognize 'girlfriends' real well, so you'd not be getting benefits like health insurance, BAH housing , combat pay, ect from Andy while he's deployed. SO there's that.
Also, theres the risks of not finding a job in time, not moving in time, ect ect. I'm sure if you put your head to it you could do it, I'm not doubting you any. This is a serious decision you have to make on your own. the FRG (family readiness group)on base are usually quite helpful with armygirlfriends, and they can give you a lot of advice.
It is a huge decision, it might be something your life needs, and it might be a major mistake ... Only you can know..and don't listen to people based on how THEY live life, how THEY think things should be done... if I did that I wouldn't be getting married to the man of my dreams. The military life is a wonderful thing, and at the same time it can be your worst nightmare.
My prayers go with you hon, I hope you don't stress urself out too much, and my prayers also for Andy. Afghanistan sucks. <3.